I Am Not Original

It’s another study-abroad blog from that college student you follow on Facebook: three cheers for originality! 

I’m not being clever or proactive or experimental by writing about my trip abroad. It’s not going to be like my stint with veganism, where I’m learning new things and spewing out new research that readers can learn from. I’m going to be writing about three weeks worth of studying in Austria, and while it will be an amazing personal experience for me, what’s the point of writing and publishing my experience? Who, with the exclusion of my extended family and friends, wants to read about a vacation that they didn’t go on? 

It’s important to know that I’ll be studying at the Salzburg Academy on Media and Global Change with an emphasis on social media and international affairs, so it’s only fitting to talk about why I’m sharing my blog and by doing so, contributing to today’s social media.

Study abroad blogs are popular now, and I’ve decided that they are a product of traveling alone for possibly the first time in a young person’s life and as a result-for lack of better wording- thinking you’re hot shit. And that’s not a bad thing! Look at you, flying solo in a new country and learning new things- you’re hot shit! Go you! I believe that in today’s etiquette it’s become “polite” to reject compliments and act coy about accomplishments like you succeed every day. It’s become impressive to just live effortlessly and not think anything of it.

Like when a friend says, “Wow, your hair looks great today!”

You’re not allowed to say, “I know, right? It took me nearly two hours to curl and I’ll be taking dozens of pictures tonight because I need to document this hair so it can last forever.”

I mean, you should probably thank the person for those kind words about your hair, but you get it, right? You don’t have to be cocky and conceited to like yourself.

Brag about yourself once in a while! I worked hard in school and on an application for a study abroad program that I didn’t think I’d get into, and after weeks on the waitlist I got an offer to go! I’m going to write about it because Salzburg is an amazing city and I can’t believe I get the opportunity to go! I’m going to jump and click my heels like Julie Andrews because The Sound of Music was filmed here! I want to celebrate myself, but I want to be realistic, because I know that not everything I do is something to jump up and down for, whether it be personal faults or just a bad day. 

I am not a carefree person. I don’t care if I get sand in my hair at the beach or if I get a bad grade on a test. I think that just makes me a stupid person, but I am very much a worrier. Ask any cousin on my mother’s side of the family, and they will likely have some level of anxiety, whether it be diagnosed or merely a label as a textbook overthinker. 

I have anxiety over money, the sacrifices that my parents make for me, and my future. I’m worried that I won’t be able to keep up academically with the other college kids from around the world, or that I won’t make friends. Also, I feel like my face just screams “naive tourist”, so I'm probably going to spend $20 on a cheesy souvenir that someone pressures me into buying.

For me, there’s always something to worry about, and always an insecurity to work on. I don’t think I will ever be a person that is completely comfortable in life, despite the accounts you see on social media. You know, the people who at 19 years old are completely set for life?

For them, there’s no more “pretty” to achieve, and there’s no more “success” to have underneath their South Moon Under belt. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a person who just had everything at their reach, until I realized

that kinda sucks.

As a person who thrives off of activity, organization and even stress (at some points), it’s not a viable end-game. It’s why I hate the season of summer so much. Because my school year is filled with academics and extra-curriculars, I’m constantly organizing and learning and earning, but in the summertime all of that progression is put on hold. It’s nice to relax once in a while, but I never want to have no worries in life. 

From imperfection comes inspiration, and I believe that today’s social media has become a pair of rose-colored glasses. Once you take them off, It’s humanizing and almost relieving to realize that nobody lives effortlessly, and it’s inspiring to know that people are still learning to be the best version of themselves, because believe me when I say that nobody is already the best version of themself. We are all still exploring the ways we can live easier, love stronger, and take on greater.

I like to write because it helps me grow, and I want you to hear about it because it might inspire you to learn something you didn’t realize before. I want to conclude with a quote from a professor named Marshall Ganz, who said

Some of us may think our personal stories don't matter, that others won't care, or that we shouldn't talk about ourselves so much. On the contrary, if we do public work, we have a responsibility to give a public account of ourselves- where we came from, why we do what we do, and where we think we're going.

Here is my three week experience in Salzburg, Austria, warts and all.